It was very fredd and innevat. Maialin was passegging in the city, the vent on this face was fort and he dovev rientrar in home. The calcucc of the camin was aspetting him. He apred the door, but qualcos didn’t go. It was like someone was entred in the house. Maialin, all attent, si reched in the salot, where a gross figure was seduted on his poltron. The light s’accended.
“huhfsiauh, Maialin!” dissed the gross figure.
“E’?” risposed Maialin.
“Chupa” dissed the gross figure.
“But go at do it in ass! Who are you?” chiesed Maialin, incazzed.
“I’m Babb Natal, and I’m here to chied you aiut. I have a big problem, and you dev aiutar me.”
Babb Natal inizied to spiegar his problems: He dissed that a big attac of caghetta have prended him and he non sarebb riuscit to consegnar all the regals to the bambins around the world. He volev che Maialin prendess his post and consegned the regals. “Col cazz that I do it! I dev go to my nonn for the cenon, she prepares the arrost with potatoes”.
But Babb Natal non s’arrended così facilment: “I will give you a ricompens: tut quel that you want. Chied me qualsiasi thing!”. Maialin rifletted… In effect, there was a thing that he wanted from the very profond of his heart. “I want the complete collection of albums of Nino D’Angelo!”
“AAARGH” urled Babb Natal “Are you serious? You can have tut quel taht you want and you chied me the albums of Nino D’Angelo? You’re pazz!… Vabbè, that sia! You’ll have what you want. Here there are the instructions of what you dev do. Or, I scapp to the bagn because I’ve the cagott and I can’t tener it ancor a long…” and he scompared.
On the table a little fogl was posed. Maialin prended it and inizied to read:
” EKTORP: Istructions for installar”
Prend the cacciavit and avvit the vit “A” dop aver inserit the part “B” in the fessur “C”. With a big abbondaz of colla vinilica, attac the parets of the armad and…
“Porc la puttan!” esclamed Maialin “That scemunit of Babb Natal lasced me the librett of istructions of the IKEA! Or what I dev to do?”. Maialin allor presed his portatil and cerched in google what he dovev do. He inizied a cercar, but he didn’t riesc a trovar nothing. At un cert trat he vid a image with su scrit: “Do you want enlarge your penus? Click here”. With an attac of sex desire he clicched the link… but it was a virus! And the computer esploded. And anc Maialin esploded. And anc his house esploded. And anc the city esploded. And anc the stat esploded. And anc the world esploded… Bè, tut esploded. And fu so that Maialin rovined the Natal to all the persons in the world… because he avev fatt esploder tut.
The End
Maialin prepared him to combatt the infermiers and liberar Jim. He prended a big laser spad and ritorned in the hospital. The scene was very disgustos: Jim was in ostage of a big, gigant, super luridus infermier-godzilla that tegned in his zamps the cantant. Maialin proved to tagliar the zamp but the laser spad didn’t riesc a tagliar it. Ancor and ancor Maialin proved to make male to infermier-godzilla but nothing sembred scalfir it.
Maialin was stremed and very stanc. “What I dev to do? What?!” he pensed. And Maialin capisced: he dovev trasformar himself in super-sayan-Maialin-ultra-figus-gnagna-brutal-fighting-terompoerculo! Yes, he will tranform in SSMUFGBFT and finally he avrebb saved Jim!… He inizied to urlar like Goku, like quand a big sass pest your pied.
Maialin was at the strett… he dovev to prend a decision: sfondar the door (no, it’s not Jim Morrison…). He inizied to prend the rincors and sbatted his test on the door (NO! IT’S NOT JIM MORRISON! BAST ASK ME!). He colpisced so fort that the door… rested chiused… Now Maialin was pien of blood on his test and was very spavented about what the infermiers avrebb do with him. He dovev aprir the door, he dovev farcela, he dovev scappar.
Pien of force maialin s’alzed and riproved to open the door; he prended the rincors and colpisced again the door… but it was not the door, he was the Door: Jim Morrison!
He si sveglied in a white room. He pensed he was in paradis because he was dead. At one trat someone entred in the room. A beautiful gnocca vestit of infermier s’avvicined to him and said:
The beautiful gnocca tocched his front and the maialin feeled very happy. She passed her hand on Maialin’s gamb and then on his seder. Now Maialin feeled very excited. He had never met a so beautiful gnocca in his life. The only sexual experience he avev had was with a cricetin that abitav lung his street. Maialin chiuded his eyes, aspettand the moment quand the beautiful gnocca avrebb kissed him…
But improvvisament he sented a big dolor in his culett. He apred the eyes and vid: the beautiful gnocca wasn’t a real gnocca: she was a big cess! In realty she was only a cattiv infermier of the center dentr cui he was ricovered! He was ancor sott the effect of LSD and tut the experiences he proved were only a part of his immagination.
The maialin didn’t capisc very ben quel that was accading. A big white light circonded him… and he vid… quand his mam vended his utero to a band of cattiv mans che faced some strange experiments on the maialins. He vid himself used by them that, with a gigant sirings, iniettet in him a green liquid… and he capid… he was special, different… he was gay… no no, he wasn’t gay… he was… a super maialin, a LEGENDARY MAIALIN!!
At one trat he ricorded his super fighis powers: the maialin vision (the extreme capacity to see all the person in a maialin costume), the super ultra figus capacity to diventar a tampax (util with the maialines), the extra strong force and the capacity to fly.
